Slonik (slonik) wrote,

the haunting...

Have you ever been haunted by how something could have been if only you had chosen differently? I've definately suffering from that these days....

I have a problem. I love a girl. She's not my life partner, not my girlfriend, or even my cuddlebuddy. She's my first. I wonder if you can really understand what that means.. She's the first girl i loved. The first girl that I kissed and felt electricity pass through my body. The first girl that could make me cry if her eyes registered sorrow in any way. She branded me and i've never recovered. In fact, I don't think that you can recover from the first, atleast i haven't. You just try to move on. But i can't. I'm stuck in my love/lust/desire/need for her. I feel like we're playing the leading roles in some beautiful yet tragic movie ...maybe Like Water for Chocolate... Where's my happy ending? I guess it doesn't really matter, because she owns me. I'm her possession. I know one day she come and claim what's hers..
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